Hey Bob, take the stairs!
We all have heard the infamous stories from Margaret about Bob, you know--Kazuntite Bob and mmm hhmmm Bob. Well this semester I struck it rich. I have two classes with Bob!!! Don't get me wrong, Bob is a great guy...mmm hhhmmm. Fortunately I was warned of his evil and ensnaring tactics of getting ahold of you in a one on one conversation that could last for hours and get nothing accomplished but delay a DP break. I and other commrades have set up an "escape Bob" plan. If any one of us gets snared one of the others must come and physically pull the helpless victim away because "We really must be going now. We have to be at (any place other than with Bob) right now." And Bob lets go and seeks out his next victim.
But when I am alone I must resort to other measures. A week or two ago I was on my way down the hall to the stairway to head to class on the third floor. As I neared the stairs I heard it "mmm hhmmm" "Hola Senor Bailey". (He likes to call me that because I am going to be a spanish teacher). I did not panic. I merely replied, "Hi, Bob". I thought I was toast. I had no friends in the immediate area. BUT, lucky for me Bob was taking the elevator and it had just opened up for him. I half whittedly asked why he did not take the stairs (mistake), and while he started to reply the elevator doors started to close so he had to hop on. So I busted up the stairs (I am good at this because I have been training for "Chase Pete") and went to class. I went to my seat and sat down just in time to hear "mmm hhmmmm" from across the room. Bob was hot on my trail. He came and sat kind of beside me (I usually rearrange the seats so as to put as much space between myself and Bob as I possibly can) and started. He ripped me a new one. He went on and on and on about how he is not as young as I am, he is an older man, he has done his exercise for the day already and does not need to suplement it with stair climbing, he has a heavy back pack (very true, atleast 50 lbs of books in that thing), he had to park far away so that counts as his exercise and on and on and on. I was defenseless. However, he did not talk to me for awhile after that. He even seemed a little perturbed at my presence. Bob was half-way leaving me alone!!! From that experience I learned that a little teasing will get Bob to leave me alone. So now whenever I am confronted with Bob I ask if he took the stairs and I get an "mmm hhmmm" and Hola Senor Bailey and he turns away.
But when I am alone I must resort to other measures. A week or two ago I was on my way down the hall to the stairway to head to class on the third floor. As I neared the stairs I heard it "mmm hhmmm" "Hola Senor Bailey". (He likes to call me that because I am going to be a spanish teacher). I did not panic. I merely replied, "Hi, Bob". I thought I was toast. I had no friends in the immediate area. BUT, lucky for me Bob was taking the elevator and it had just opened up for him. I half whittedly asked why he did not take the stairs (mistake), and while he started to reply the elevator doors started to close so he had to hop on. So I busted up the stairs (I am good at this because I have been training for "Chase Pete") and went to class. I went to my seat and sat down just in time to hear "mmm hhmmmm" from across the room. Bob was hot on my trail. He came and sat kind of beside me (I usually rearrange the seats so as to put as much space between myself and Bob as I possibly can) and started. He ripped me a new one. He went on and on and on about how he is not as young as I am, he is an older man, he has done his exercise for the day already and does not need to suplement it with stair climbing, he has a heavy back pack (very true, atleast 50 lbs of books in that thing), he had to park far away so that counts as his exercise and on and on and on. I was defenseless. However, he did not talk to me for awhile after that. He even seemed a little perturbed at my presence. Bob was half-way leaving me alone!!! From that experience I learned that a little teasing will get Bob to leave me alone. So now whenever I am confronted with Bob I ask if he took the stairs and I get an "mmm hhmmm" and Hola Senor Bailey and he turns away.
posted by benjobailey at
4:28 PM
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